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My brother in law desrespected my mother. What should I do?

I'm a Christian raised man. 34 years old I'm currently married. Have two daughters Have a City technology Job Just purchased my first house in NJ I'm the only man. My mother had 4 girls and one boy; me. Since I was the only man; they kind of protected me too much. I seldom god into school fights and when I didn’t I just got beat up and cried. I play basketball all my life. Now I'm grown but here is the latest problem where I need advice. My old mother my old father and two of my sister purchased a small building in NYC. One of my sisters. Got married two years ago with this guy from DR that initially was real nice. They used his credit score to purchase that house. My wife and I lived in the first floor for two years until recently. The problem: my older sister and my mother told us that since the day they purchased the house my Jung sister and her DR husband never pay anything and that's including any utilities that's why the house was going in foreclosure. They thankfully got some king of arrangement to get a lowered mortgage. I never got involved in the business part of this at all. I just spoke with the DR guy and told him to please respect my family. He explained that he hasn't have a steady job that's why he has not been able to pay (he has been working in and out) so I didn't believe that. Anyways, My Jung sister and he finally were moving out to Florida but he wanted to make a room in the baseman since he still had to come back and forth till he gets a job in FL. He has been in a good job in the city for like a year. The night before they were leaving, my mother told him that he is not a responsible person and that she wasn’t going to let him build a room downstairs so that he could continue the abuse. That day I was not in there or my oldest sister new husband just my old father my mother and my older pregnant sister. He got upset and screamed at my mother loud. I didn't know anything at all. Next day he called me telling me that something happened and that it was not his fault. I was like what happened he told me that he argued with my mother because she told him that he could not do a room. He was like I didn't say profanities but that is my house. I didn't catch on there and I was like why is he calling me ahead and explaining things. Well next day I asked my sister and she told me it was ugly and my father was unable to do anything about it just watch. I really got mad till today. My mother father and older sister put the down payments and have been paying all bills for that house. I know unfortunately that his name is in the house, but he cross the line. It’s been almost a month and I still dream about hitting him hard. I don't know how I will react when I see him. He is in the city but I don't know where. I'm not looking for trouble, and I haven’t fight anybody in years, but my man instincts keep telling me just punch him in the face when you see him. He told my older sister once that my family doesn’t have a man to defend then. I'm really so pits that I have been nasty even in my new house with my family. I don't know what to do. It is amazing, I always have been able to forgive people since I'm a Christian, but every time I thing about that I just want to really beat him up.

Public Comments

1. talk to him and her about it
2. What a situation! The first thing I would do if I were you would be to talk with your sisters, and get all of the details from themr before you confront your BIL (brother-in-law.) His remarks about not having a man in the family to protect them was an insult to you and you need to address that before he continues wit further insults aimed at you. Since your family used his Ficus score to buy the house, and for that "gift," he thinks he should not have to pay anything to live there. Well it is time for him to learn there is no free lunch, as the saying goes. Your parents and sister will lose their money if the house goes into forclosure, but some things cannot be helped. It is the BIL's credit that will be wrecked more severely than anyone elseses, for the next seven years. Renting agents might not be so harsh with your parents and sisters, when the hear the story you have to tell. They too, also check credit ratings when leasing an apartment. Your oldest sister and your parents, need to get out of the housing market and rent an apartment. Until such time when they are eligible for a loan of their own. That is, if they want to buy a home of their own. They will have to suffer the loss of moneies already spent ..sigh. It is hard to do, but well worth getting away from loud mouth ... Severing all ties with the "Insulter" is the best thing to do at this time. Your sister he is married to will have to get a job, if she hasn't already got one, to support the free loader. If she does not mind supporting him for the rest of their married life, that is her problem. If she can't save herself, that is her problem. ( I find it hard to believe that she would still care for someone who was so rude, and disrespectful to her parents, and refuseses to reallykeep a steady job. You have your hands full with a family of your own, and a mortgage to pay monthly. So there should not be any money coming out of your budget to assist anyone at this time. Even though you may wish to help, it is best to salt away extra cash for your own future emergencies. They happen when you least expect them , trust me. Your parents and others sisters, will stand with you when you put your foot down on, or up-in this guy. When they see they have a strong male figure in you, they will do it. Your dad is elderly, and needs you to take over that position. Remind your BIL, that he stands more to lose now that his credit will not hold water anywhere. He did not think to take that into consideration did he. Let him know also, he is not now, and never will be, welcome in your home, around your wife and children. This is an excellent time to show your family what they might not have known before ... and that is baby ...you rock!
3. Look your brother in law needs to grow up, that's his problem. It's alright, and understandable the fact that you want to beat him up. If I were you I would broken his legs and thrown him in lake, but that's just me. I want you to do a thing, CALM DOWN FIRST. EMOTION is something that' dangerous, calm down use logic, think it through with your brain. File suit and try to take his name out of the house. If you ever see him, take him to a corner, someplace where nobdoy is present. tell him straight that if he ever crosses the line with your mother again, you will not forgive him! Have that look on your face, stand up to this bully. the ball's in his court, if he decides to fight, then you fight him and punch him so hard that his nose is a bloody pulp. But if not you walk away by telling him that you don't want to see him or talk to him ever again. Oh and make sure to say that he is dead to you from now on.