Upcoming Foreclosures

Do you ever regret becoming a parent? Why?

I am asking this because my SILs seem so misreble since they became parents and they are in their 30s! They push the kids off on anybody who will watch them, they have all filed bankrupsty, had cars repo'd, foreclosures, etc and they all say it's because they can't afford to live and have kids. They all seem sooooo misreable, my one sister in law left her baby with my in laws while she took off to California for a couple of months on what was supposed to be a short trip. The weird thing is, these are intelligent, college educated people. Do they hate themselves or really don't like being parents? I don't get it. Why did they have kids if they didn't want them then? B's: I have no children and my husband and I want it to remain that way. I understand what you are saying. That's one of many reasons I don't want kids, I'm in the mind set of 'why mess with a good thing'? I've got a great marriage and don't want anything about it to change.

Public Comments

1. They sound like very selfish people. People who always put themselves first shouldn't have children. I've never regretted becoming a mom- I've regretted that I didn't set myself up better to be able to afford the finer things and to not have to worry about money. I wish I would have gotten a better degree than the one I've got. I wish my husband had a job that allowed me to stay home with my daughter. But never have I regretted becoming a parent. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
2. Sounds like they need to relinquish rights and give there children to people who will give them love.. As for me a few times I have thought it would be wonderful to not have kids but that is only for a split second NEVER EVER do I regret it though..
3. That is a crumby situation. People sometimes like the idea of having the house, the car and the 2.2 kids..... in reality, kids are HARD WORK, and the cost a lot too. Having your freedom taken away when you have had 30 years to yourself can be really hard. Obviously, there are huge social stigma's for a parent to say, I'm in over my head. They should be grown up enough to recognize that and seek help though. Taking off and leaving someone else with the responsibility of your kids isn't fair or responsible... The grass isn't always greener, but if it's your lawn, you need to take responsibility for it! I've never regretted it for a second - and I did it on my own, unplanned, working full time and putting myself through school.
4. They sound like prime examples of why not everyone is cut out to be a parent. No, I have never regretted having my son. I waited until I was financially secure, and I have never had any money problems because of it. I still enjoy my hobbies and interests, so it's not as if I've given up my life. My son is the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I can't imagine ever regretting him.
5. yes i have because it's soooooooooooooo hard just taking care of other kids p.s i am not a parent i babysit
6. Some people arent cut out for parenthood. If they seem miserable they probably are. But it's not the kid's fault at all. The parents are miserable because they choose to be so. I was on the verge of homelessness with my boyfriend and daughter but even though the situation was aweful we were happy to just be together through it all. I feel sorry for those kids because they must sense it too.
7. Have you ever seen a puppy in a window...and it was just so cute you had to have it? For way too many people, having kids is the 'right' or 'cool' thing to do or babies are 'just soooo cute' They forget that kids need ALL of your attention, right from the start. and money and it sounds like in this case...sanity. Kids aren't refundable and now that they are realizing that, they are pushing them off. and the saddest thing is...the kids are the ones who have to grow up knowing that their mommy didnt like having them around. Good luck and best wishes to you and your family
8. I agree with the first comment... selfish. It doesn't matter your standing in life.. a selfish person is a selfish person (people). I never understand parents that will drop their kids off with anyone with open arms. Don't get me wrong... having a good support system is wonderful but its not everyone elses job to raise your kids. Often times people think children will either make life wonderful or that it'll fix a relationship. As far as I know babies aren't magic lol. I love my kids but I didn't have any of them to fill a void. Parenting is hard work. Bottom line. But, for me, it's all worth it.
9. I don't know your SIL's so I can't really judge their situations. They may have other things going on in their worlds that you don't really know about. Do I regret becoming a parent? No. Are things harder now? Definitely. I can barely afford to go grocery shopping and buy gas for my car. Doesn't help that my son's father isn't helping us financially right now (that's another long story, lol). Does it completely suck that I can't afford things that I would like to have? Of course. Does it stress me out? Of course. Would I change anything about my situation? No way.
10. This definitively seems more like lack of planning than anything else. I don't regret being a parent at all. O.k. to be honest maybe a few times during the first six weeks of sleepless nights after my first daughter was born, but not a minute after that. I'd rather regret not being a parent. We are in our mid thirties we are better off now than we were when we first got married, we own a house, three cars and a few rental properties, we both have full time jobs. We like traveling and do it at least twice a year. We are able to do this "despite" having two kids and all the expenses associated. I can't imagine on what else would I rather spend my money than having a good time with my kids.
11. Just sounds like they are extremely selfish, and shouldn't have had kids in the first place. Just because someone is college educated doesn't mean they will be good parents. They need to be willing to sacrifice part of their life to make room for their children. I am going to be a first time parent in October and I can't wait. When my husband and I first found out we were pregnant, we talked about how everything was going to change and that we would have to make some major adjustments in our lives. I think if you go into it with that mindset then you never have to worry about regretting your decision.
12. Sometimes I regret that my husband and I made the decision to have a child. It has caused a huge strain on our marriage. That being said... I love my son and I am so happy he's in my life. My husband and I are working on our relationship, and things have gotten better recently. Sometimes I just wish he and I could go back to the way we were.